Last Duckling Update

Oh, my - where to start! Let's see ... The 14 baby ducklings are all grown up, and the whole flock has come back together - including the mallards.

As it turned out, Adorable Dora didn't have a single mallard duckling. I thought four of them were mallards, as babies, but I was wrong.

Several people had sent me links to articles that describe how a mama duck can shut down her passageways to block the sperm of any drake she doesn't want to father her little ones. I didn't know whether to believe that, but, apparently, it's true.

Dora hates it when those mallards even come near her during breeding season, and she raises hell when they go after her. Now, I'm wondering if all that squawking might be because it hurts her when she shuts things down.

So, unless Dora's daughters grow up with a different attitude toward the mallards than Mama - and I doubt they will, since they learn from Mama - the mallards still have a problem.

The babies are now nine weeks old, so I think this is the end of the duckling updates, although, I may tell you about individual ones as their personalities develop. I know some of you will be relieved!

Today's Article

I'm running an article, today, on a subject I still get flack about from online business owners. It has to do with whether an online business needs to be available by telephone. To me, this isn't even a question that needs to be asked.

However, I'm going to add a bit of a caveat up here in this column.

There was a time when I answered the iCop phone every time it rang, assuming I was available and it was during office hours, of course. Now ... not so much.

Over time, people started calling me to complain about any web site where they felt ripped off. The problem is I can't do anything about that unless the site owner is an iCop member. I have absolutely NO power whatsoever to intercede for those who needed help with those outside our membership.

I might wish I could help them, but I can't! I can't even write about it because I only have one side of the story. And, since I can't, it becomes a huge waste of my time to have to sit and listen to it.

The second problem is - people don't pay attention. Or, they think they can force an exception for themselves.

On our “Contact” page, it states: “We do not accept Member complaints by telephone! Please use the link below.” The link, of course, sends them to our “Reports” page. And yet, folks want to talk (maybe “yell” is a better word) to someone about their complaint. So, they call!

I kind of understand the need to talk. However, I can't get involved in “she said - he said.” Every complaint must be “in writing” for several reasons.

1. So there can be no misunderstanding of what the problem is as the complainant sees it
2. So all the details are presented in order
3. To avoid the type of changes that happen as information passes from one person to the next verbally
4. For legal reasons

I also don't discuss it with our reported member, except in writing. An online business owner's reputation is at stake. We can't afford any mistakes due to verbal conversation.

With iCop being around for almost 11 years, I get calls nearly every day. And, less than 1% of them are about an iCop member.

The rest are about online businesses I have nothing to do with. No matter how much I may sympathize, I simply don't have the time to listen.

So, unless I recognize a name or number on the Caller ID, I let the phone go to Voice Mail. And, what I find is most people will not leave a message if they are calling to complain. If it's about an iCop member, they already know we require it in writing, anyway.

If they have legitimate business, they'll leave a message. And, if they don't, it wasn't that important.

Now, having said all that, you can read my opinion about business telephones for online businesses below. All you need to do is use common sense when it comes to their use.

Here's Something Cool - and Free

It works with both Firefox and Internet Explorer Chrome browsers. Just choose the correct download.

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Get automatic price comparisons in your browser, while you shop. PriceBlink lets you know when the product you're viewing can be purchased elsewhere at a lower price or when it has found coupons for the retailer you're shopping. PriceBlink stays hidden in the background, appearing only when it can save you money.”

www.priceblink.com

Have a fantastic week, and ... Keep on Keepin' On!

     jl

Join me on Twitter - twitter.com/jlscott_iCop

"Grandma and Grandpa's Retardment"

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.

They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona.

Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well...

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.

Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night - early birds.

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house.

Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Thanks to Don Shickle
www.ShickleEnterprises.com

"CEO of WHAT?"

I once became quite upset with the Executive Vice President of a bank. An iCop member was speaking with him regarding her new business. The business is a sole proprietorship - so she was wondering what title to give herself.

Again, her company is a sole-proprietorship. She is not incorporated! Yet, the V.P. told her to use the titles, "President and CEO."

UH?

This lady is very serious about her business and was seeking information on a number of things. She didn't need this kind of bad advice!

This is a good question for everyone, however, since titles are so misused online by people trying to throw their importance around. I am underwhelmed and unimpressed with it. Good grief! Who cares? Don't these people know how that makes them look to anyone who is business savvy?

Please don't make yourself look unprofessional in your online business by using phony titles! "CEO" (Chief Executive Officer) and "President" indicate an organization which has formal officers. The President may, or may not, be the CEO.

If your business is not incorporated, with formal officers of the corporation listed - don't use them! Even a Limited Liability Company (LLC) does not have officers.

In your role as a consumer - look at the company name. Is it followed by, "Inc." or one of the other indications of incorporation?

If not, and the sales pitch is signed by a "CEO" or "President" - you're dealing with someone who is either trying to convince you their company is something it is not - or someone who doesn't have much knowledge of the real business world.

There is nothing wrong with, "Owner." At least it's honest!