To Start, or Not to Start, a Civil War
I was reviewing my own Tweets looking for something to engage
my mind long enough to write about it. I was struck by the
discovery that I started whining about needing to make big
changes a whole month ago - and, so far, I've done zip.
A couple of things have set me on fire so badly in a direction
different from iCop, I've wondered if I should be following
there. “There” would be into the political blog arena.
I'd have to come up with a brand new name and start all over,
since it couldn't have anything to do with iCop. But, by damn,
I have a lot of things that need to be said - and, I don't
understand why people in the USA just roll over and accept all
this crap.
On the other hand, it seems everyone has plenty to say about
politics in this country, but no one seems to have the
wherewithal to DO anything about it.
It appears that, although most of us know the absolutely
unacceptable things going on, everyone simply sits and accepts
it as being impossible to beat. I don't happen to believe that.
But then, at this late date, it's most likely not in my best
interests to become an activist and start a civil war. [SIGH]
To do that, I'd most likely have to gather all my multiple
personalities into one big storm cloud. I'm not at all sure I
can do that any more.
I've become fragmented - partly from just watching my kids.
Each of those kids appears to have taken a part of my
personality and made it bigger - better - more focused.
I was divorced when the oldest was 10 and the youngest was 3½
years old - and I got to do the rest of the raising of the
spirits pretty much by myself. In a way, being a mother at 19
and a grandmother at 40 was a good thing. I got them in - and
out! Then, I moved away. 
Those kids are the only things I couldn't stand to lose in this
life. However, there may have been points where I recommended
stuffing them into gunny sacks, tying up the tops and throwing
them in a river until the teen years were over.
They're lucky I let them all get out alive. Four teens, all
at once, was a bit much, even for me!
Each one of those kids is completely different from the rest.
One daughter “takes after” one grandmother - one “takes after”
the other grandmother - one “takes after” me and the boy “takes
after” his dad. Nice spread, don't you think?
Problem is they looked like they all had different fathers -
which they did not. They even acted completely different from
each other. That's where each grabbed a piece of my own
personality and made it bigger than life!
On the other hand, they could also be like a little street gang
if not attended to constantly. Luckily, I had a police dog who
did that for me. Truly. His name was Harvey, and he rode herd.
Also, luckily, they were pretty much raised before tattoos and
body piercings came in, or I'm sure I'd have had to march them
down and make them join the circus. Why will kids mutilate
their bodies like that?
After we came in off the road, their dad and I had two dance
studios and a rehearsal hall for our professional clients. I
was left with the business in the divorce, and I always took those kids to
work with me if they weren't in school.
They all learned to dance but only The Ballerina was really in
love with it. The Earth Mother preferred gymnastics - throwing
herself into the air and praying on the way down.
The Executive was more interested in just collecting the money,
and my son really wanted to be clown. He'd throw himself off a
cliff if it meant he could do something highly politically
incorrect to get a laugh on the way down.
Okay - enough about those little heathens! Maybe I'll regale
you with their individual proclivities and personalities some
other time.
The Epiphany
I've also had an epiphany, this past week. A new friend told
me he grew up Amish. Another old/new friend is chronicling his
- very interesting - life on his blog, and I've been reading it.
Yet another, I was only seeing in the light of his father since
his dad was an old and dear friend. Come to find out he is an
individual, after all, and also has fascinating and great
talents of his own!
It all made me start wondering more about the folks I associate
with online. It would seem I have been seeing everyone simply
as business owners, or “internet marketers,” and nothing else. How rude!
I have to admit, I have spent more time recently getting to know
people more intimately - as real live people! Because of this,
business activities have fallen a bit by the wayside.
Interesting, since those few folks I have considered very close
online friends over the years have all shared more of their
lives with me - and I with them.
Maybe this is what's been wrong with our field of online
business owners. Maybe we'd all be more supportive of each
other if we truly knew each other!
Not necessarily the kind of knowing that comes from business
conferences. Too much wheeling and dealing (and lying) goes on
there. There's very little "real" knowing where everyone has to
be the expert.
But, then, after what I told you last week, I'm the one who has
isolated myself, aren't I?
I've always known a few - very few - people who were more
likely to bear their souls online. I'm thinking now, I should be
ashamed to admit I often silently criticized this mode of
operation.
I still think there should be lines we don't cross, but who's to
say what those lines might be? I do know I've received a LOT of
email supporting my own recent bent toward opening up about my
own life.
It seems to have been appreciated and actually found to be
interesting to those I write for. I'm beginning to understand
now why I've also become more interested in learning more about
others.
Where am I going with this? I'm not sure. But, I'm beginning
to believe a shift in my own M.O. needs to happen, because I'm
not leaving iCop anytime soon. It would seem a bit of balance
might be in order!
Have an inspirational week, and ... Keep on Keepin' On!
jl
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