Fun Stuff


"Best Divorce Letter"

Dear Wife,

I am writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years, and I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell; your boss called to tell me you quit your job today, and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me any more; you don't want anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me any more - whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

PS: Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a nice day.

******************************************************

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice your haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was, "You look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers - I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and I pray it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the Lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife - Rich as hell and FREE!

PS: I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.


Thanks to Kent Butler
www.Personal-Puzzles.com

News From the Lake


All's Peaceful on the Lake

The Lake
Although Tink's leg doesn't seem to be getting any better, he's adjusting more all the time. Everything else has been pretty laid back for the past week.

Even that little outlaw, ET, has been calm. Almost sweet, even. He came over, got in my lap and whistled his new composition to me, yesterday. Yep - he writes his own music, sometimes.

I did hear a slight uproar a few minutes ago. I glanced up and saw a baby Great White Egret fly in and try to land in the water by the ducks. It isn't much bigger than the ducks. But, the ducklings were startled and noisy over it.

It had to move to the shoreline. Now, they're all together on the bank of the lake. I guess babies know babies. Very cute.


Dora has a Mama's Girl

My third daughter, "The Earth Mother," seemed to have been born talking. As a toddler, she followed me around talking to me until I almost thought death would be preferable. She couldn't even play outside without running in to check on me every 15 minutes!

But, I always said suicide was out of the question. I knew she would simply come to the cemetery, sit by my grave and continue to talk. There would be NO peace!

Well, one of Adorable Dora's ducklings is exactly like her. If Dora dares to move more than 10 feet away from her, she sets up a ruckus like you never heard.

It's all I can do to keep from giving her The Earth Mother's name! But, I've resisted. I call her "Daisy," instead.


Piracy Reared its Ugly Head

I suppose the big news, last week, was my finding the theft of three pages of the iCop web site - put on the site of an organization for clergy.

Organization for clergy? Are you freakin' kidding me? Nope! Just goes to show, you can never predict who will steal your stuff!

You think it's a rare event? Pfffftt! Happens all the time. EVERYONE who owns a web site needs to be aware and know what to do!

The iCop copy came down quickly once I contacted the site owners.

Unfortunately, I really wanted to show you a bit more of what can be done. I had started the process of reporting it to Google, Yahoo! and PayPal. But, I was interrupted by someone posting the situation on his blog.

The site needed to be up and showing the stolen material when those companies checked it. This could have resulted in loss of search engine listings and of any PayPal account. In fact, Google puts up a notice that a site has been removed and tells why!

But, once the situation became public, I had to go ahead and issue a cease and desist email. My fault.

I should have asked y'all to keep it under your hats until my work was accomplished. Then, you could have seen the full spectrum of what can be done.

In any event, it's all in "Beat Web Thieves at Their Own Game!" The link is in today's newsletter issue. The private launch price is for Trade Journal email issue readers only - and TOMORROW is the LAST DAY for this price!


The Second Edition will be published with the increased price. However, everyone who has bought the First Edition, at the lower price, will receive a complimentary copy of the new one.

The Second Edition will also be turned over to the iCop affiliates to sell at the public launch price.


Here we are at the first of August! It's time to get things organized and decided for the selling “season” online. iCop affiliates will be able to add "Beat Web Thieves at Their Own Game!" to your product arsenal.

If you're just starting out online - now is the time! You'll have several months of a great selling environment.


Fun and Freebies

Defraggler

“At a glance, you can see how fragmented your hard drive is. Defraggler's drive map shows you blocks that are empty, not fragmented, or needing defragmentation. Most defrag tools only allow you to defrag an entire drive. Defraggler lets you specify one or more files, folders, or the whole drive to defragment.”

www.piriform.com/defraggler/features


Secure Browser

“When using the Secure Browser any changes or malicious files inadvertently downloaded from the Internet are contained within the secure browser, keeping the underlying OS and computer secure from hostile changes. Any changes resulting from browser activity may be quickly and easily reset to effectively “undo” such changes and return it to its initially installed state.”

www.kace.com/products/freetools/secure-browser/


Ellen and Gladys

This is most likely the funniest seven minutes you'll have all day - maybe all week! This clip is absolutely PRICELESS!

www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/ellen-gladys-hardy-p1.php?


Have a fantastic week, and ... Keep on Keepin' On!

     Smile jl

Join me on Twitter - twitter.com/jlscott_iCop

Tips and Resources


Things to Know

I received the following email:

------------
I just noticed that Firefox has a new add-on. It's called Browser Highlighter. It highlights words on your website, and when you mouse over it, it pops up a window with advertising in it. When you click on the ad, it takes you to the website of the advertiser; it takes the viewer to a page off your site. In other words, it hijacks your viewer and makes it look like it is part of your site.

I find this not only wrong, but highly unethical to the extreme. I found it wrong years ago when someone else did it, at which time many website owners were screaming to the high heavens about it. I haven't heard anyone complaining about it yet, but believe it is only because it is not been brought to anyone's attention.

What are your beliefs about this?

Robert Morris
www.edmmarketing.com
------------


First, although I thoroughly dislike this type of thing, there's a difference in this and what they were doing a few years ago. Technically, this one is permission-based. The other wasn't.

I asked my partner in iCop Hosting, Chuck Mattice, if he knew anything about it. Turns out, Chuck had fallen heir to this through Skype. He wrote:

------------
Yeah, didn't know how I got it until I read:

http://thebrowserhighlighter.com/help.jsp

I have removed it, It originally hit my browser when I added the Skype add-on.

It can be disabled by going to "Tools" - “Add-ons” - scrolling to it, then, disabling it. It can also be removed. Firefox does not add this; it has to be downloaded.

Chuck
www.authentic-empowerment.net
------------


Net Neutrality

The subject of Net Neutrality has been around for a while. But, it's coming close to a decision by our U.S. Congress.

This will decide whether the big ISPs can control what is seen in the browsers of their customers. Of course, the lobbyists for AT&T, Verizon and Comcast are going crazy with it.

They do not want the public to keep control of their browsers! And, right now, they seems to be winning!

Worst case scenario is ...

If we don't get Net Neutrality, the day may come where you will have to pay these giants to have your web site shown at all! That's in addition to them telling you what you can, and cannot view.

As with anything that's been around for a while, lots of myths have arisen around the subject.

I STRONGLY suggest every reader become familiar with these 10 myths - and the reality. It is all well explained here:

www.freepress.net/files/dejavu.pdf

Fun Stuff


"Bubba Walks on Water"

Bubba had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday.

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Bubba's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal, Jim Bob, took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Bubba stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Jim Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother.

"Granny," he asked, "it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my pappy, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Bubba's troubled eyes and said:

"Because your father, your grandfather and your great- grandfather were all born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July.


Thanks to John Grafflin
www.jwgmg.com

News From the Lake


Tink's Pulling Through

The Lake
You may, or may not, remember when I told you a few weeks ago about the first baby duckling to eat from my hand. I called it “Tinkerbell,” at first. When I figured out he was a drake, I simply called him “Tink.

Not only did Tink come to me, first, he is one of the sweetest of the bunch. When the others learned to eat from my hand, there was pushing, shoving, snapping at each other and general mayhem trying to get every morsel.

But, Tink would just stand by my left foot, looking up at me and patiently wait. He knew he'd get his share. He never joined in the riot - which became much worse, the older they got.

Unfortunately, two weeks ago, when Tink was nine weeks old, I saw he had a very large fishing lure pinning his right leg and foot to his body. At first, I tried a couple of times to catch him - to get it removed. But, he could get into the water before I could get to him.

Then, he stopped coming ashore on this side of the lake. The other ducklings tended to shun him, and be mean to him, although, the adults didn't. He could swim (slowly) but couldn't walk. He also needed to stay away from the other babies' boisterousness.


It broke my heart not to able to help him, but I had to leave it to the universe to help him. I did put corn down by the water where he could get it without coming ashore. He couldn't do that upside-down thing ducks do, with their fannies in the air, to get food out of the water. He couldn't balance to do it.

But, since he comes to me easily, I'd lure him far enough away from the others to give him treats they couldn't take away from him. He didn't have a perfect diet, but I managed to keep his belly full. A couple of days ago, I noticed the lure was gone, but the leg was still pinned.

In all that time he was spending alone, he had gotten it partly off. Yesterday, I thought I saw him move that leg in the water - but I wasn't sure.

This morning, lo and behold, I saw Tink standing on the bank with two legs down. He still can't walk, and I don't know if that leg will always remain useless, but he can move it. Meanwhile, he can hop far enough to get back to the water. Of course, I have no way of seeing if the hooks are still in his body.

I stepped out on the patio a few minutes ago and saw him resting up on the bank just about eight feet from the mallards - also resting. The others have left the lake to forage for the first time since Tink was hurt. Amazing.

I will say, I've seen these ducks make what I thought were near miraculous recoveries when their feet or legs have been hurt in the past. After a while, you can't tell they were ever hurt. So - I'm holding the faith for my sweet little Tink to walk, again.


Thieves on the Web

In case you didn't receive my email, last Thursday, I've written a detailed "How to ..." publication. I'm ONLY showing it readers of the Trade Journal, for now. And, while I am, ONLY those readers will receive a 43% discount.

You'll find the link in today's email issue of the Journal.

This price is very temporary! As soon as I give it to the iCop affiliates, the price goes up to $47. It won't be long!


PLEASE have a loving week, and ... Keep on Keepin' On!

     Smile jl

Join me on Twitter - twitter.com/jlscott_iCop

Article Copyrights


Creative Commons License
These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License
To re-publish articles by jl scott from this site, please include the following byline - with live links - after each article you use.

-----> Begin

* dr. jl scott is the Founder of the International Council of Online Professionals (iCop™) http://www.i-cop.org - and also the publisher of the Online Business Trade Journal™ - the blog that keeps you up to date with online business coming of age. Visit: http://www.OnlineBusinessTradeJournal.com

-----> End

Syndicate content

iCop Web Hosting
"Specializing in Online Business Sites"